Only took a year to get to this point. What made this happen? Let's go back to Sunday morning shall we?Well even before that...my birthday was recently and guess what? I couldn't even get any. I drank too much and I wasn't feeling well the night of. But the next day when my hangover was over...you'd think? No.
I sat there on the sofa in a Tshirt.....nothing more. Nothing happened.
So the next weekend we were out and when we came home I got undressed in front of him...put on a Tshirt and got in bed. In the most haphazard unsensual way...he starts rubbing my stomach. Stomach. The part of my body that he knows I hate the most. He's laying behind me and he's not getting hard...no matter how much I rub and roll on him.
So I fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up in a very bad mood...for obvious reasons. On the ride home I start throwing hints at why I was in a mood. Before you know it I just snapped! I'm screaming and cursing and beyond control!
It took me to react this way before he decides to really take me seriously.
The worst part of all this?
The closeness, the intimacy, the connection.....it's all gone
This makes me sad.
This makes me cry.
This makes me feel like even if he "fixes this" that I've already checked out physically.
I've been trying to hold on to what little bit of us that I remember. The part of us that was fun and sexy. The part of us that made me squeal like a 21 year old with stories to tell my friends.
That part is all gone now...I don't know how to get it back.
No we're not an old married couple. No we haven't been together for years shacking up.
Our second anniversary isn't until June.
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